Daylight saving time. Saw the sun come up this morning so i won’t be petty about losing an hour of sleep. Even though I just did. But yes, sunnier happy hours are in order.

saw an actual portal today. A gorgeous ray of sun glittering with the particles of us. Daniel went through it! Never saw that version of him again.

Grateful for nights in Pasadena, expert espresso, being held, being sleepy, sore muscles, Gatorade, and tableside guacamole.

12:44 am.

happy Saturday! I slept in this morning and now I’m two nespressos deep and feeling pretty great.

Last night Saelee and Sylvia treated me to an amazing dinner and afterwards there was some really good and inspiring talk. I can’t believe it but I have girl friends now. And I’m not the weird one in the group.

2:53 pm.

it’s late. But I’m trying to be consistent with my writing here. Trying to follow through because once that’s gone, it’s done.

I was so tired today. Could barely keep my eyes open while editing the car t-cell manuscript. Then a spontaneous dinner + drinks hang. That woke me right up.

Someone said that I seem “empty.” That was a short while ago, but only if they could see me now. So full. Soooo full. Of what I can’t say!

3:19 am.

tonight secrets were spilled and new friends were made. I was told I look younger than my age. that never gets old but i do. Went to the bar where Jonah boy was working. A very Californian experience for my Canadian guest. None of my plans for fancy cocktails or gourmet burgers worked out for the night. Pizza on the curb in the rain. We had fun nonetheless.

i talked about eddie a bit tonight. later on, i realized who and what I’m missing. Not gonna lie… i feel so sad right now.

2:01 am.

A couple of golden moments to report today.

a friend called just to tell me three things. The phone call was less than a minute. She said: 1) she loves me; 2) she loves where her life is currently at; 3) she met someone and that person said they knew me. (We’re all connected; and i know this kind of puts a hole in my story but I think that person was lying.)

the second golden moment of the day:

Grateful for good things happening to other people, my limbs, mindful eating, vitamix, and your attention (please).

1:45 am.

i tried to make some good choices today. I promised I’d cook some healthy foods in my fancy little pan. I did so. It’s rad and my proteins came out great. But I did not eat much of it because my body didn’t want it. I exercised and i stretched. I drank a green drink.

In other news, I finally renewed my lease. They never removed Eddie’s name from the paperwork but i signed anyway because of the deadline. Sadly, the reality that i need to reduce spending is setting in. I resisted buying a pancake-scented candle and I switched to lower priced nespresso pods. I promise to try to still be fun though.

1:08 am.