late. I stayed at eddie’s company holiday party later than I thought I would. I also thought it would be difficult and emotional to see everyone, but I was wrong about everything. nothing difficult about it, unless you have a hard time dealing with fun times, hugs, and laughs. and well, I used to but I’ve been strong and i don’t have social anxiety anymore (i cured it by bossing up). every single person I saw tonight spread warmth on my heart like buttered toast.

played street fighter for the first time in years too. I was so rusty. i will need to practice before I get into the octagon known as eighty two.

brunch plans tomorrow so I need to sleep. 3:40 am. i’ve never been this social in my life.

I still haven’t gone grocery shopping. it’s been months. well, actually going to the grocery store—It’s been years. what i mean is I haven’t placed a whole foods order nor stocked up the fridge in months. the shelves are sad. but I cooked today. I found some good meats and vegetables in the freezer. eventually there will be zero food left here, and even though the clear solution is to buy groceries, I’m curious to see what actions I’ll take when I get there. one can only eat so many shrimp chips.

I miss eddie a lot today. when he was here, our fridge was phat.

thinking about the time I opened skater homie’s fridge to grab a cold beverage. and the refrigerator was completely empty except for: a box of corn dogs.

today i loved all the holiday cards i received. seeing stacks of handwritten envelopes addressed to me in my mailbox fills my heart with much joy. but seeing the photos even more joy. matching pajamas. adorable.

okay, time for bed. and i am hungry. 1:12 am. stacks.

I wasn’t going to write tonight because it’s late and I have to work in the morning, but i’m dedicated to you.

just got back from my holiday dinner with bea and cj. it was supposed to be an early night for me, but i should have known better. we had oysters, good food, fine wine, and then listened to live bluegrass at the bar I hadn’t been to in almost 20 years. last time beto was throwing up.

I had another public cry. it’s fine; it was because I was overwhelmed with love. and if you’ve never experienced crying because of that then I hope that for you.

almost time for holiday shutdown. the senioritis is real. 2:34 am.

Tonight I loved where I live. Skyline. Shorts in December. Walk to brewery. Friends with bartenders. chasing a dream.

Watched shawanna do her stand-up comedy thing tonight. She killed it. A huge relief because I had no idea if i was going to like her jokes or not. she was dope. She performed at two separate venues with different material which is pro. The asian joke was about me (I think). It was a good time. I’m here to see my friends rise.

I did some online Christmas shopping today. It was not easy. I usually ask my family to post a gift wishlist in our group chat but The only person who ever posts is me haha. Buy me this. No wishlists this year so everyone is getting a ______.

12:20 am.

Well, okay, here’s my wishlist: crow landing on my shoulder, silence, jade rings, vegetables, and laughing so hard I cry.

finally got this site fixed. Fiverr came through with all the cache fixes, but I never asked about the timestamping. I’ll just do it manually.

where did the weekend go. Saturday was a blessed day. Went running for the first time in like ten years. Six miles, but they were slow. In elementary school, the pe teachers used to say, “kids, we’re doing lsd today.” Meaning long slow distance. Then we’d run all period in the Texas heat. The rich kids got all excited for nothing.

Had a wonderful dinner and best time spent with Dylan and mo. after that…drinks with the neighbor shawanna. Found out The bartender has the same birthday as me. As soon as we made that discovery he was nicer to me. Typical cancer.

Sunday washed out by a hangover. I had decided to skip my zbiotics hangover prophylactic before going out. That was a mistake. now I’m 100% sure they work.

1:55 am. Get the weed out.

it’s late. I wish I could add a timestamp on this blog template. there must be a way, I better ask a fiverr.

lentil and taz took me to cosm tonight for a documentary screening. that place is cool. the massive screen was experiential and the venue itself made me want to party. but the bar was closed. andy came through with cans of pineapple mana just in time though. the movie was great and the creative energy was high. it felt good meeting new people too. look at me, i can socialize now.

today I loved people.