I’m in my new apartment and it’s superb. Spacious, serene, and unfamiliar. I have dozens of boxes to unpack, but first I have to pack them and then transport them here. My old apartment is a royal mess and half of my things are still laying around on the floor in piles of dust.

i confirmed that I have too many things. Too many cool things so hard to let go. I was overwhelmed.

I also confirmed that my best friends are truly the best. Last Sunday, Six of them showed up with mops, brooms, vacuums, spray cleaners, wine, tequila, nuts, and muscle—they packed and cleaned and made me laugh. They got sweaty and the amount of work accomplished was astonishing. momo said it’s because we love Jenny. And I secretly cried my eyeballz out because love is not lost. What have I done.

i’m up late because my nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. But I think it just did.

grateful for Daniel, cj, bea, Nate, lentil, momo, taz, shujana, east wind, boba, cheap wine, prime pizza, prime moving, prime parking, sore muscles, lawyers, seven grand, late nights, hoss, my limbs, my vision, all the love.

3:30 am.

happy lunar new year. Another new beginning and wishes for lucky things. Lots of change, light, love, and energy.

i’ll write more when I’m not so sleepy.

grateful for 880, year of the horse, truckloads, bouquets and kaviar, my coworkers, big boxes, boreal, diamonds, time.

1:40 am.

A lot going on and time never slows down.

I got the keys to my new place. I’m not living there yet but it vibes peaceful so I think it should be good. Bright lights no furniture shiny floors. We’ll eat Chinese food on our cardboard box table.

I had dinner with Amy tonight. She is so honest and I appreciated how different our grief journeys have been—Not sure she would describe hers as a shower of bright golden love But she is determined and fun and it’s true grief can change you.

grateful for reconnections, heroin, mop heads, charlotte’s wagon, sleep deprivation, smart and final, electrical issues, art, my limbs, homelink, eye contact, lovely people.

12:48 am.

Today was cool. one day closer to the closer.

grateful for Tuesday night outings, my mom cheered me up, picks oner, thumbprint whorls, Heineken, big dogs, neighbors, fat wires, slow motion.

1:54 am.

Happy February. This is the month I’ll say goodbye to this wonderful apartment. This is the week I’ll get keys to the top of the hill. I’ll live differently Like a morning person. I’ll write notes like I can no longer associate myself and scratch them out.

i’m watching rosemary’s baby right now because it’s about apartment hunting and moving, and I can relate to it all.

grateful for new American funding, bibigo, oatmeal, pharmaceuticals, caffeine, warm weather, rubber gloves, Closing time.

1:21 am.

I went to the new apartment today to check on a plumbing leak. all seems good—no mold. The place won’t officially be mine until next week, but it’s occupying a lot of my headspace. I was supposed to be packing and doing a bunch of stuff this week, but of course I didn’t.

i was stressing about my finances because moving is expensive. But once you start stressing you attract more stress and expenses. Suddenly things need repair or replacing. my sonicare toothbrush stopped working? And the red light therapy controller broke? I forgot we’re rich.

grateful for everything I have, trust, Koreans, surveys, bubble wrap, Brie cheese, Excitement, people, friends, mockups, good health.

1:57 am.