life is moving.
went to polina’s birthday party tonight. she looked beautiful. it’s always nice to see everyone, but it still felt sad. sometimes I forget that they are grieving too. everybody loved eddie.
people ask me how i’m doing, what i’ve been up to, how i’ve been sleeping, and am I eating enough. I can’t tell the truth. and I can’t lie to people I love. so I just say, “i’ve been drinking a lot,” which is true and sums everything up.
last christmas I made egg nog and it was delicious. If I make it again this year it will officially be a new tradition. I do need new traditions. the new tradition for getting the tree will be the same as the old tradition except it will only be me. and it will be tiny.
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