One time I saw a spider in my living room. It creeped me out because it was big and its legs were much too thick for its body. I was going to capture and release it—maybe kill it because it looked gross—but I left it alone because it was chillin’ and spiders are Supposedly the good guys—they eat flies and are important to our ecosystem.

that same night I was reading in bed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. The same spider was on my blanket crawling towards me fast on a mission. I jumped. I felt betrayed that he was coming to bite me after I spared his life. I don’t remember if i freed him or killed him. but he disappeared at my hands.

It didn’t dawn on me until much later (years) that he wasn’t coming to bite me. Most spiders don’t just bite people. I am not saying he was trying to thank me or become friends with me—it’s just sometimes we make up others’ intentions and personalities in our minds and we are often wrong. And still i assume it was a male spider.

No matter what—kindness is the way.

grateful for seven grand, feedback, dumbbells, sweet kale salad, free shots, outdoor space, busy work life, renergie, Venus flytrap, long hugz.

2:15 am.

I’ve been living like a young person again—late nights, drinks, cute boy, chicken wings. It’s more fun with money too.

Nobody can believe that it’s about to be June. I’ll start my diet on Monday.

grateful for spectrum, ribeyes, work peeps, birds, naps, 8pm not 8am, mini-wheats, flamin’ hot Cheetos, 11:11, kitchen counter space.

1:53 am.

i’ve never really been good at anything. Some people i know just kill it—skateboarding, shooting pool, ceramics, painting, photography, hair styling, singing, etc. I can’t say I have any exceptional talent or skills. I’m a real good…person?

a long time ago on tv they were interviewing a hot import model. the question they asked her was, “what are you good at?” She had a hard time coming up with an answer, but she finally said, “I’m good at…shopping.” At the time I chuckled, but now I think that’s a legit response. Better than mine.

Grateful for jeopardy!, long hugz, monday night tourney crew, second place killer (again…), best dog, geraldine, vegan rigatoni, hangover, jacqui, my floors, street skateshop, coffee at night, bea + cj, good energy.

1:26 am.

Lately, I’ve been enjoying my job and enjoying my free time after work. I wouldn’t exactly call it a work-life balance, but we be funnin’.

shooting a lot of pool, cooking, and sleeping in. And everyone loves my dog.

grateful for tj’s herb chicken fridays, Christy, slippery shrimp, happy napper, second place killer, triple j to the max, lancet publication, my mom, 880, stocked fridge, abundance.

1:31 am.

i took a very long nap this evening. Shortly after I dozed off, my eyes opened suddenly because I thought I had to go to work. I knocked out so hard after that. I’ve been tired lately because of late nights, fatty meats, medical procedure, and procrastination.

i’m back on my skin care regimen. That includes leafy greens and berries. Tomorrow I’ll get a haircut finally. I look forward to having a lighter head.

grateful for meditation, rest, good test results, free delivery, the courtyard, FaceTime, sunshine, fantasy 5, chia seeds, tears.

1:33 am.

When our parents were in their late forties, did they ever drink beer, shoot pool, and play jeopardy! Until 4am on a work night? Juss askin’.

Everything is flying by. I can’t keep track of the months and all the celebrations. I make it sound like a problem but it’s pure joy.

grateful for my partner, mijares, cinco de mayo, april and may birthday peeps, dark-eyed junco, bmws, air fryer wings, too many things to list.

1:43 am.