Author: streetmadonna

Eddie’s been sending messages. The 11:11 neon turning on by itself. Same with bea’s lamp. Then Lenny and taz’s tv did the same—straight to the sea turtle screensaver. He visited me in my dream last night. I forgot what happened but he was at the door and I touched his belly. I think he’s trying…

It feels early to me because i went out tonight but didn’t stay out late. Went to shujana’s comedy show for some good laughs and drinks. The jokes were good, but my favorite part was when a group of girls at the other end of the bar raised their glasses, “to shujana!” She’s friends with…

Tonight at the restaurant, the server smiled and waved as my mom and I were walking up. We had not seen her in over a year. She’s kind of a special person—she isn’t korean but speaks korean to my mom, she memorizes our orders, and works multiple jobs because she’s a hustler. She emits warmth….

I have an 8am meeting so I’ll write quick, finish shopping prime deals, watch tv, and close my eyes. i miss my mom and I’m happy I’ll see her tomorrow. Do you miss your mom if you don’t see her or talk to her much for a few weeks? Today someone answered no. i think…

It doesn’t feel right that i have to pack all the fun things into the weekend. But I do a pretty good job. Very patriotic of me. I was tired today—I’ve been tired a lot lately. I need a vacation, a foot massage, some alcohol-free days, and a family dinner. And I shall have them….

went out for drinks and dinner with my bestie neighbor. As we walked through the arts district, I got that feeling again where I felt love for the city. I came home and read a bunch of texts from saelee and felt more love. A lot of things in my life are in need of…

happy October. People get sad or weird this time of year. Maybe lonely. Nostalgic. Home sick. Holidays. Don’t let them turkeys drag you down. grateful for dogtown, Clio awards, Thursday, forever stamps, iced mochas, simplehuman, sleeping, bling, babe ruthless, the Mona Lisa. 12:57 am.

Funnin’ is hard work. So exhausted from weekend warrioring. I stayed in pajamas all day, skipped exercise, skipped drinks and comedy night, ate zucchini bread in bed, and binged next gen chef. My eyelids felt heavy all day, but now that It’s 1am, I feel alive. tannis anyone? grateful for bloody Mary’s, basketball, Mario kart,…

I was tired today and my head was hurting. Take Tylenol. today i heard a piece of news about someone i work with and the only person who would’ve cared to hear it was eddie. There are days when I talk to his photograph, but never about office gossip. i watched a lot of tv….

Grateful for where i am, berries, guys who hustle, the Freddy Krueger hotline, ouai wave spray, Cecilia, 2 afds in a row, high protein, my job, my arms, LinkedIn, incoming love. 1:05 am.

We celebrated Eddie’s birthday this past weekend. It was a perfect night—fried chicken, tequila, cake, street fighter, best friends. A bunch of people texted me and it made my heart hurt a lot. Grief is very complex. It has a thousand voices. If you ask, “what are you most sad about?” All the voices speak…

Grateful for quiet nights, long naps, core fitness dumbbells, amazon fresh, beets, my mom, hours of tv, you all everybody 🎶. 1:45 am.

been working so much. Might have been a little bit stressful too. Nobody likes that. But we work hard and then play hard. Like murder city devils. rode my skateboard the other night. And by night I mean 2am. Imbibe and ride. I need glasses. And younger knees. Grateful for my editorial team, work dates,…

Went for drinks with my bestie neighbor. I’ve been working a bunch so it felt good to chat and catch up. And to be told that I deserve to relax a little bit. No one-upping or “well I’m…” this life is so healthy and pure. the weather changed. It feels cold. My inner nostril skin…

a busy work week. Long hours. Lots of deliverables. Short-staffed. It is all fine—I’d choose this. my cousin from Houston came to visit. We didn’t go to Disneyland—we just went a few blocks from my apartment to all the fun spots that I’m lucky enough to experience all the time. Happiest place on earth. The…

hard to believe it’s already September. I haven’t been very productive this year. The studio is still filled with eddie’s audio gear. I never sent out the remaining thank you cards. I got too fat, too drunk, too sad, and too happy. Doesn’t it feel like I just renewed my lease? It’s already time for…

I felt so exhausted after work. I knocked out; i had some dreams. I went to my mom’s house where she fed me a lot of food and then placed eggs, organic berries, and four cartons of milk in a pile on the floor (this wasn’t a dream, it really happened). grateful for cute dogs,…

I have been on vacation. I went to palm sprangs, la la land, heaven, and now I’m back. yesterday we honored eddie’s one-year memorial. I was feeling fine though I know emotions can turn on a dime. I learned It can’t be predicted whether i’ll cry all messy or be okay. Turns out it wasn’t…

Had drinks and a wonderful catch-up with an old friend. I’ve always admired her sexy sense of independence. Think samantha from sex and the city but all the good aspects. She’s brilliant and beautiful, so is anyone good enough for her? We just want each other to be happy. one time a different girl friend…

Another great day even though I was tired. Good work, good dinner, good nap, good company, good workout. All gốôđ! grateful for penicillin, Positive people, good hair, we, flowers, wine pairings, night life, self-confidence, Chinatown, sleeping under the stars, Cambodians, no commercials, how far I’ve come, easy street, honesty, authenticity, golden kindness. 1:25 am.