it has been a birthday extravaganza. Too much fun for one person so I shared some.

It’s always a message from eddie When strangers come up to me to tell me I’m beautiful. That cherub-faced black beauty got the entire bar to sing to me. A different stranger brought me a cocktail and it was my favorite cocktail. That person’s name was…angel. It was weird and beautiful and I felt love from the universe—the same love as eddie, my past, my family, my friends, the strangers, Daniel, the future, and what I feel for you.

grateful for family, chawanmushi, bb bigs, seven grand, petite filet, Russians, Beatriz, birthday texts, presents, pay raise, Ken Jennings, memories, dodgers, ape ball, ease, lots of 11:11s, clock shop, love.

1:33 am.

I socialized with the neighbors at the community wine tasting event. People in my building are smart, cultured, and classy. And they want a dive bar.

everyone can see into my apartment. They commented on the 11:11 neon—angel numbers. And one lady said it looks real nice inside my place.

Grateful for good neighbors, free wine, good family, beef chow fun, easy work week, 3-day weekend, early morning meetings, funnin’, birthday boy.

1:03 am.

things have finally slowed down at work. I’ve been enjoying family time, tv time, and all kinds of sweets.

i had my family over for the first time. I think they were happy to see me in my cool new apartment. A lot of joy was experienced.

Grateful for four-day weekends, where’s halmoni, strawberry cake, nondairy Ben and Jerry’s, free Hulu, popcorn machine, jimmy + Stephanie, blackberries, rad apartment, foist, beef chow fun, Daniel, my job, my legs.

1:34 am.

One time I saw a spider in my living room. It creeped me out because it was big and its legs were much too thick for its body. I was going to capture and release it—maybe kill it because it looked gross—but I left it alone because it was chillin’ and spiders are Supposedly the good guys—they eat flies and are important to our ecosystem.

that same night I was reading in bed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. The same spider was on my blanket crawling towards me fast on a mission. I jumped. I felt betrayed that he was coming to bite me after I spared his life. I don’t remember if i freed him or killed him. but he disappeared at my hands.

It didn’t dawn on me until much later (years) that he wasn’t coming to bite me. Most spiders don’t just bite people. I am not saying he was trying to thank me or become friends with me—it’s just sometimes we make up others’ intentions and personalities in our minds and we are often wrong. And still i assume it was a male spider.

No matter what—kindness is the way.

grateful for seven grand, feedback, dumbbells, sweet kale salad, free shots, outdoor space, busy work life, renergie, Venus flytrap, long hugz.

2:15 am.

I’ve been living like a young person again—late nights, drinks, cute boy, chicken wings. It’s more fun with money too.

Nobody can believe that it’s about to be June. I’ll start my diet on Monday.

grateful for spectrum, ribeyes, work peeps, birds, naps, 8pm not 8am, mini-wheats, flamin’ hot Cheetos, 11:11, kitchen counter space.

1:53 am.

i’ve never really been good at anything. Some people i know just kill it—skateboarding, shooting pool, ceramics, painting, photography, hair styling, singing, etc. I can’t say I have any exceptional talent or skills. I’m a real good…person?

a long time ago on tv they were interviewing a hot import model. the question they asked her was, “what are you good at?” She had a hard time coming up with an answer, but she finally said, “I’m good at…shopping.” At the time I chuckled, but now I think that’s a legit response. Better than mine.

Grateful for jeopardy!, long hugz, monday night tourney crew, second place killer (again…), best dog, geraldine, vegan rigatoni, hangover, jacqui, my floors, street skateshop, coffee at night, bea + cj, good energy.

1:26 am.