life is moving. The days are flying. The world feels different.

I eat a lot. I never drive. I go to the doctor.

a weekend of nonstop fun: met lance mountain and someone named hosoi or something, ate at red lobster, made new friends at the dive bar in Hawthorne, drank jägerbombs, shot pool, played darts, enjoyed warm la weather, had kbbq, and binged tv. Not in that order.

grateful for weekend funnin’, Darby carter, piano-playing octopus, packing lists, being carried, snowy forecasts, deadlines, relationships, being rich, fertilized eggs, life and everything about it.

12:25 am.

This week is flying. Tomorrow we’ll be 95.

grateful for good memories, Sheldon cooper, Libby app, things to look forward to, November babies, peace.

1:07 am.

happy November. Another month. It doesn’t feel like fall time. Haven’t had a pumpkin spice latte (never ever), haven’t heard from any estranged exes, haven’t worn pants.

I’ve been recovering after all the dodger win festivities, all the sake and sushi, all the lost sleep. Being a fan is hard work.

Tonight I organized my pantry and charged up my kindle (haven’t read nothin’ in over a year). i prefer printed books but sadly, they become clutter. November 5 is a good day to throw away 5 things.

grateful for negative test results (negative meaning good, not negative meaning bad!), chili dogs, cousins, chicken juk, dodger dawg, doubletree, hangover, work slogs, Jenni many, Zillow, changes.

12:37 am.

I slept all evening and through the early part of the night. I took a lot of steps on the walking pad and I was tired.

Finally scheduled some of my routine health screening things. Isn’t it common for people to set their self-care aside when they’re preoccupied with taking care of someone else. The last thing I needed during the last few years was the discovery of a major health issue of my own. Still don’t need one!

I just realized it’s Halloween. I’m trying not to look back so much, but Last year at this time—two months after Eddie’s passing—I was having a lot of hard days. My friends took care of me and I always felt like I had somewhere I could go. I threw on my black dress and black tiara and had the best Jell-O shots in the world at flor’s art studio. I am so lucky.

grateful for beautiful grief journey, old friends, new friends, World Series + Cracker Jack, mammograms, Mexicans, snoring dog in my bed, Toronto peeps, work life, money, weight loss, positive people.

1:47 am.

Gonna head to bed soon because i have a meeting at 7:30 in the morning. I also don’t want to be too tired for the baseball game. No one has ever taken me on a date to a World Series game before so I’m pretty excited. What if he buys me Cracker Jack.

a weird dude with bad skin and a cute dog told me I’m beautiful, and I knew it was a message from eddie. I saw him again later and he asked me if I had any “good weed” on me.

love energy is abundant and swirly; I hope you feel it from me and beautiful things keep happening for you.

grateful for healthy friends, all the children who call me auntie, lactose-free cottage cheese, ups, dead lifts, crystal gel nails, my job, hot weather, fortunate life.

12:53 am.

A night of drinking beer and watching baseball. A lot of baseball. Not that much beer. It is a fun time to be an Angeleno. but Will ohtani be able to get his 13 hours of sleep?

In other news, I bought dresses and fancy heels after years of not doing that. But I won’t go anywhere nice for a while.

I need to know what is up with Kpop demon hunters, but don’t wanna watch. I want to learn about ivf, but don’t wanna read. I will, however, watch multiple videos to see how a Maltese puppy would cook korean pancakes or assemble a footlong subway sandwich. Hold on to your brain cells.

grateful for Stephanie, kikusui, coconut everything, ppo plan, my work team, rosemary’s grill, Freddie, dawn powerwash, Daniel, reformation, late nights, la, safety.

1:57 am.